Here’s a little quiz for you.
{All three of you who are reading this.}
{Yes, I’m talking to you. Humor me by pretending to read this.}
{No, I’ll never really know if you read it or not. I don’t check my stats. I’m awesome and famous in my head. It’s good enough for me and Bobby McGee.}
{The answers are in blue.}
1. Where has Ms. Wasteland been the last 2 weeks?
a. In Bora Bora with the pool boy.
b. In the basement scrubbing the moldy walls and throwing away soggy toys.
c. On her couch with a box of Double Stuff oreos.
d. At work with small children who tell her to “shut her damn mouth” and a group of beyotches/co-workers who think they’re in high school.
e. C and D.
2. What has been occupying Ms. Wasteland’s time for the last 2 weeks?
a. Keeping The TO sexually satisfied.
b. Writing a literary work of genius.
c. Playing Pawn Stars on FB.
d. Making boards on Pinterest and then feeling bad about how crappy her life really is.
e. C and D.
3. Ms. Wasteland plans on returning to blogging:
a. When politicians stop being horn dogs.
b. When she has something deep and insightful to share.
c. Someday.
4. Ms. Wasteland’s plans for the rest of the summer include:
a. Cruising to Bermuda.
b. Visiting NYC.
c. Hanging with her Blog Besties.
d. Getting her parents moved in their new house.
e. Reading tons of mindless romance novels/chick lit.
f. All of the above. {DUH!}
5. Ms. Wasteland wants you to:
a. Send her some Xanax before the big moving day.
b. Send her some Xanax before she leaves for the cruise.
c. Wear sunscreen and use a condom.
d. All of the above.
PS I would turn the comments off but I still can’t figure out how to do it for an individual post.
PPS I haven’t blogged in so long I couldn’t even figure out how to log in to my account tonight.
PPPS I’m positive there is no correlation between the above and the wine I had at dinner tonight.
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I love Pinterest too. My boards don’t look as pretty as other people’s though.
I never made it over for the double stuffed oreos…still sad about that! Would have been worth the longest walk ever.
Even though you bitches (tulpen included) don’t post often, whenever I get a dose of the snark is fine with me. You go on and eat oreos and garden and stuff. Go on and do it good.
Oh my gawd
Thanks for the laughs on this dreary Monday morning.
LOL.
Laughter OUT LOUD.
Here are my answers that I KNEW weren’t the answers: no pool boy, no satisfied TO, No way are you doing Bermuda.
STFU!
ANd laughing, crying, weeping, peeing to working with always in high school B’s.
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!
DON”T STOP BLOGGING (sing it like Journey)
There is nothing wrong with sitting on the couch enjoying double stuffed oreos instead of blogging. I am right there with you!
Another blogger that’s still aliove. YAY.
I was right in all my guesses. Do I get a prize?
Glad to hear you are not dead. Whew!
I am said to see you drift so far from blogging. I hope you are enjoying your real life more than it sounds.
I’ve taken a break too! Has been lovely really. My lawn looks great. I’ve exercised almost every day. Have been enjoying quality time with my Kindle. And my husband and kids aren’t sick of me yet!