Here’s a little quiz for you.

{All three of you who are reading this.}

{Yes, I’m talking to you. Humor me by pretending to read this.}

{No, I’ll never really know if you read it or not. I don’t check my stats. I’m awesome and famous in my head. It’s good enough for me and Bobby McGee.}

{The answers are in blue.}

1. Where has Ms. Wasteland been the last 2 weeks?

a. In Bora Bora with the pool boy.

b. In the basement scrubbing the moldy walls and throwing away soggy toys.

c. On her couch with a box of Double Stuff oreos.

d. At work with small children who tell her to “shut her damn mouth” and a group of beyotches/co-workers who think they’re in high school.

e. C and D.


2. What has been occupying Ms. Wasteland’s time for the last 2 weeks?

a. Keeping The TO sexually satisfied.

b. Writing a literary work of genius.

c. Playing Pawn Stars on FB.

d. Making boards on Pinterest and then feeling bad about how crappy her life really is.

e. C and D.


3.  Ms. Wasteland plans on returning to blogging:

a. When politicians stop being horn dogs.

b. When she has something deep and insightful to share.

c. Someday.


4. Ms. Wasteland’s plans for the rest of the summer include:

a. Cruising to Bermuda.

b. Visiting NYC.

c. Hanging with her Blog Besties.

d. Getting her parents moved in their new house.

e. Reading tons of mindless romance novels/chick lit.

f. All of the above. {DUH!}


5. Ms. Wasteland wants you to:

a. Send her some Xanax before the big moving day.

b. Send her some Xanax before she leaves for the cruise.

c. Wear sunscreen and use a condom.

d. All of the above.


PS I would turn the comments off but I still can’t figure out how to do it for an individual post.

PPS I haven’t blogged in so long I couldn’t even figure out how to log in to my account tonight.

PPPS I’m positive there is no correlation between the above and the wine I had at dinner tonight.


42 Responses to Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

  1. gayle says:

    Ok whatca been up too?

  2. when do you leave on the cruise? it’s before our trip to Houston, right? better get that Xanax FAST!