We throw the word brave around quite a bit in the Blogosphere.
Especially in our comments.
“You were so brave to share story of your parakeet’s infected feather. I know it must have taken quite a toll on you. Hugs.”
“I’m in awe of your bravery. It’s ok. Everyone’s kid gets constipated. Hugs.”
“Kudos to you for your bravery! I’m so sorry you suffered with bronchitis. Hugs and prayers. Xoxo.”
Who has two thumbs, needs a therapist, and is guilty of this?
Hint: it’s me.
I heard the word brave numerous times when I wrote about my grandfather’s suicide.
Here’s the thing.
I don’t think writing that was so very brave.
I have an anonymous blog.
Only two real life friends read here.
99% of the 40 people who read this blog will never meet me in person.
Basically, I told my imaginary friends that my grandfather killed himself and my family is extremely fucked up.
To me that isn’t brave.
Brave would be talking to my mom about what happened.
Brave would be letting my husband know what’s been going on in my head for the last two weeks. (Not that he cares or would listen.)
Brave would be reaching out to my estranged brother after all these years.
Brave would be dealing with my issues in therapy.
But I’m not going to do any of those things.
I’m going to go back to writing snarky little posts about my husband and kids.
Or not.
In lieu of a professional therapist I will turn to my old pal Dr. Little Debbie and her associates Dr. Pepper and Dr. Reese.
And I will continue to cling to my cowardice like a security blanket.
You do know why the world is round, right?
So we can keep going in circles.
Sigh.
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YOu know you are full of it! Whether it is the “blog world” or not, whether you meet these people or not, you did something wonderful.
This was your first step, and it will come out more and more now, to people you never thought. One day, I told someone about my ED in person- without shame- and was amazed. I NEVER saw myself talking about it online, much less in person, or ESPECIALLY in person. My hope for you is soon, there will be a time when someone comes to you, and you share your story in person. If they, or any other person, makes you feel “odd” about it, you will nod your head in sympathy at their ignorance.
Hugs and Bravery
Girl–you are brave. No matter what you say or think, you are. That took courage to post and I applaud you. You have touched many many people. Count me as one of them. xoxo
I don’t know how to say something without sounding stupid. I guess I’ll be brave and try.
You are saying out loud that this is a serious problem/defining moment/struggle for you. You’re admitting it.
That’s a huge start. You aren’t hiding behind being funny or anything else. You’re being the you and so many people adore.
Let this place be what you want it to be. Fuck what other people expect.
And enjoy that Keurig, too. They kick so much ass.
But you ARE brave to share about your parakeet’s infected feather thingy.
Wait. That wasn’t you, right? Okay.
Friend. I dunno what you’ve been thinking about the last couple weeks but you should share it with the TO. He needs to wake up.
And, I love your brand of brave/crazy. I have it too.
No I disagree with you. What you write about your personal trials is brave. I write about my struggles with postpartum depression and anxiety and while I don’t see that as being brave, others do. Why? Because it is raw. It is personal. It sucks the life out of you when you hit the publish button.
When you write or when I write and when others write, we are helping so many others heal. We help others cope. We help others by giving them hope when they see that we can kick it’s ass.
While we don’t see it at the time, our courage to spill our struggles online is powerful. It helps us heal and helps other heal.
Keep writing.
I need a way to express just how much I get what you are saying here.
The family I don’t talk to.
The thoughts and feelings that I never express to my husband.
The therapy that I know I need, but don’t seek.
Yes. I get it.
I don’t know from brave…but I do know that you are not a coward. Not at all.
And I know that when you let pieces of your story out, even in this anonymous place, it is powerful. It means something – even if only to those of us who read. It means something.
Dr. Little Debbie makes house calls at my place all the time. Sometimes she brings Dr. Reese and Dr. Doughnut. Chocolate soothes me.
Oh how I would love to create an anonymous blog. I could hash out family dramas. Gripe openly about the TO when he is driving me up a tree. I am not afraid to do it. I am just too lazy. Despite being anonymous, I love how honest you are. You make no apologies for what you write. Bravo!
Hahahaha. Your parakeet’s infected feather. I think you’d be brave to even own a parakeet.
I’m so fighting the temptation to look back on those comments and see if I used the word brave…
I just can’t help myself: xo
Call it as you like brave or not, the only thing I know well is that you are a GREAT PERSON, A STRONG SPIRIT, and a BRILLIANT YOUNG WOMAN,
and I love you for that.
You’ve gained my respect quite effortlessly!!
I’d adore if I could meet you sometime. Who knows?
Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend!
B xx